The Joy of Being Older…

1942 RAK in hat@CuyuniMy Comments: It’s a cold, gray day here in Gainesville, Florida. The rest of the country, except perhaps the West coast, is suffering too but at least we have no snow. Maybe I can add a little levity to what has so far been a frantic week. BTW that’s me on January 1, 1942.

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font on computers.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874
and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when
you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I
don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that
I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just
nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they
said?

19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
up to prevent some jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!

20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time. Uh Huh!

22. Life just gets better as you get older doesn’t it? I was in a
Starbucks recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized
that I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music
was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my
farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to
feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was
staring at me…. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my
IPod.

This is what happens when old people start using technology! So how was your day?

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