Murphy’s Laws – Part Four

My Comments: Here is Murphy’s Laws Part Four. This is the 4th of six such lists that I’m sharing with everyone. As mentioned earlier, they’re in no particular order, so please don’t assume I’m just lazy.

-Jone’s Motto:   Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

-Churchill’s commentary on man:   Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

-The ultimate Law:   All general statements are false.

-The Unspeakable Law:   As soon as you mention something;  if it is good, it goes away; If it is bad, it happens.

-The Whispered Rule:   People will believe anything if you whisper it.

-The First Law of Wing Walking:   Never let hold of what you’ve got until you’ve got hold of something else.  

-Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

-Farnsdick’s corollary:   After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.

-Lynch’s Law:   When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.

-Law of Revelation:   The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

-Langsam’s Law:   Everything depends.

-Hellrung’s Law:   If you wait, it will go away.    

-Shevelson’s Extension:   … having done its damage.  

-Grelb’s Addition:   … if it was bad, it will be back.

-Grossman’s Misquote:   Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

-Ducharme’s Precept:   Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. 

-First Postulate of Isomorphism:   Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.        

-The Unapplicable Law:   Washing your car to make it rain doesn’t work.

-Witten’s Law:   Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

-Perkin’s postulate:   The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

-Harrison’s Postulate:   For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. 

-Conway’s Law:   In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

-Stewart’s Law of Retroaction:   It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

-MacDonald’s Second Law:   Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and give it back to them.

-First Law of Laboratory Work:   Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

-Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1.  If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s biology. 2.  If it stinks, it’s chemistry. 3.  If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.

-To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

-The Sausage Principle:   People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.

-Horngren’s Observation: (generalized)   The real world is a special case.

-Merkin’s Maxim:   When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue. 

-Hawkin’s Theory of Progress:   Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.

-Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

-Matz’s warning:   Beware of the physician who is great at getting out of trouble.        

-Gold’s Law:   If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

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