Murphy’s Laws – Part Three

My Comments: Here is Murphy’s Laws Part Three. This is the third of six such lists that I’m sharing with everyone. As a reminder, they’re not in alphabetical order, so please don’t assume I’m just lazy.

-Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.  

-You can lead a man to slaughter, but you can’t make him think.  

-Don’t get mad, get even.

-Carson’s Law:   It’s better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

-The Golden Rule:   He who has the gold, makes the rules.

-Mark’s mark:   Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

-Korman’s conclusion:   The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.

-Knight’s Law:   Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.                                     

-Maugham’s Thought:   Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

-Krueger’s Observation:   A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

-Benchley’s Law of Distinction:   There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don’t.

-Harver’s Law:   A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

-Schmidt’s Observation:   All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.

-Gibb’s Law:   Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

-Fools rush in where fools have been before.

-Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution to a problem, it always helps if you already know the answer.

-Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

-Wyszowski’s Law:   No experiment is reproducible.

-Fett’s Law:   Never replicate a successful experiment.

-Brooke’s Law:   Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

-The first Myth of Management:   It exists.  

-Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

-Peter’s Placebo:   An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

-Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labor:   People are always available for work in the past tense.

-Wiker’s Law:   Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

-Clarke’s First Law:   When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

-Clarke’s Third Law:   Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

-Segal’s Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

-Weiler’s Law:  Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

-Weinberg’s Second Law:   If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

-Hartley’s Second Law:   Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.

-Beckhap’s Law:   Beauty times brains equals a constant.

-Katz’s Law:   Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

-Cole’s Axiom:   The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.          

-Vique’s Law:   A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.