Column: At Trump impeachment trial, Democrats are rudely making an overwhelming case for conviction

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By Rex Huppke \ 12 FEB 2021 \ https://tinyurl.com/y554jpjn

As a proud Republican member of the U.S. Senate, I would like to formally express my disgust — disgust, I tell you! — at the way my Democratic colleagues are conducting themselves during this ridiculous, illegal, unfair and unconstitutional impeachment trial of Donald Trump, America’s forever president, blessed be his name.

As an impartial juror, my right to believe only what I want to believe is being trampled by these radical leftist Democrats. They keep shoving direct and consequential evidence in my face in a blatant attempt to get me to acknowledge what actually happened during the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol.

The House impeachment managers know full well I have already impartially made up my mind that Trump is both innocent and handsome, yet they continue to rudely make an overwhelming case for conviction and belligerently force me to reckon with my own outlandish hypocrisy.

This kind of behavior from my Democratic colleagues in Congress cannot stand, and I hope they will be reprimanded appropriately for bursting the bubble I exist in and getting facts all over me. (Those things take forever to wash out.)

We all know the facts of the case. On Jan. 6, then-and-still President Donald Trump generously invited thousands of tourist-patriots to visit the U.S. Capitol. By chance, their visit coincided with the official certification of the Electoral College votes.

Eager to see the building, some of the tourist-patriots became mildly overly patriotic and friend-trampled some police officers before breaking a few doors and windows that probably needed to be replaced anyway.

After that, who can say exactly what happened? Did Vice President Mike Pence and his family get rushed off the Senate floor and come shockingly close to people who were chanting, “HANG MIKE PENCE”? Yes, that’s true if you believe in proximity and words. But like myself, I’m sure Pence would respond to that by saying: “It was truly the honor of my life to be almost murdered by the great patriot-tourists invited to our nation’s Capitol by my good friend, President Donald Trump.”

Did a police officer and four other people die on the Jan. 6 outing? Yes, but it’s important to acknowledge that other people have died in other places before, and those deaths never led to a president getting impeached. That extremely sensible comparison demonstrates the absurdity of this entire case, and is something I tell myself every night so I’m able to sleep.

Over and over again in the opening days of the impeachment trial, the Democrats have viciously shown video evidence of the so-called violence perpetrated by the president’s tourist-patriot friends. They’ve also shown video evidence of the president allegedly “inciting” people by exercising his First Amendment right to stir them into a violent frenzy by telling them their country was being stolen and they had to “fight like hell.”

I found these videos offensive, in part because they reduced my insides to a puddle of shame and because one of the videos showed me running off the Senate floor like a frightened rabbit. I assure you, I was not frightened, because nothing frightening or wrong was happening. I just had to go to the bathroom really bad, due to the shame puddle and whatnot.

The gall of these Democrats, quoting over and over again from court documents in the criminal cases against some of the more fervent patriot-tourists who all say they stormed/visited the U.S. Capitol because Trump wanted them to fight back. They’re trying to use that as proof that Trump incited the events of Jan. 6.

It’s outrageous! You can’t draw a straight line between two points. You need at least two other points, one of which is former President Barack Obama and another that is antifa.

I had already had it with the Democrats and this trial, but then Rep. Joe Neguse of Colorado, one of the House impeachment managers, said this Thursday: “You are here to adjudicate real evidence, real facts, not hypotheticals.”

HOW DARE YOU, SIR! I have not seen, spoken or adjudicated a real fact in years, and I will not stand for this slander! It will take me at least three appearances on Fox News to recalibrate my reputation, you monster.

Anyway, back to the circus trial. It’s borderline criminal that Democrats have smothered me and my colleagues with evidence that clearly and unequivocally proves their case. On at least three occasions, my sense of decency awoke from its five-year slumber, and the psychological pain of lulling it back to sleep by reciting conspiracy theories was unspeakable.

On another occasion, part of my brain briefly acknowledged objective reality. Let me tell you, that did not feel at all good.

So let’s swiftly put an end to this trial and agree Jan. 6 never really happened, and if it did, it was the fault of liberals, not Donald Trump, long may he reign.

I will continue to ignore the trial proceedings and remain resolute in my impartial vote to acquit. Anything less would require me to admit that I, too, contributed to the weeks of America-first dishonesty that led our beloved patriot-tourists to storm-tour the Capitol.

Shame on the Democrats for putting me in this uncomfortable position. It’s all their fault.

Columns are opinion content that reflect the views of the writers.

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