Murphy's Laws - Part 5
My Comments: Here is Murphy's Laws Part Five. This is the 5th of six such lists that I'm sharing. As I mentioned earlier, the order in which they appear seems to have no rational explanation but appeared this way in a file I got many years ago. Lewis' Law: People will buy anything that's one to a customer. Law of Reruns: If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode. Shirley's Law: Most people deserve each other. Forgive and remember. Woltman's Law: Never program and drink beer at the same time. Gallois' Revelation: If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enabled, and no one dares to criticize it. Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom: Anyone who says he is not going to resign, four times, definitely will. Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of. Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, follow instructions. Allen's Distinction: The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep. You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. Avery's Observation: It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up. Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by watching. Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: A 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock. A 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock. A 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock. Cohen's Law: What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts, not the facts themselves. Colson's Law: When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. Comin's Law: People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. Fourth Law of Thermodynamics: If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damned near zero. Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics: 1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction. 2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place. Goldwyn's Law of Contracts: A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Government: No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. Jone's Principle: Needs are a function of what other people have. Langin's Law: If things were left to chance, they'd be better. In America, it's not how much an item costs that matters, it's how much you save. If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation. Mencken's Metalaw: For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong. Sevareid's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions. Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention of doing you good, you should run for your life. Peer's Law: The solution to the problem changes the problem. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. Lyall's Conjecture: If a computer cable has one end, then it has another. Lyall's Fundamental Observation: The most important leg of a three-legged stool is the one that's missing. Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules: Everything costs more and takes longer.