Murphy’s Laws – Part One

My Comments: We’re all familiar with the common form of Murphy’s Law which says to the effect that if something bad can happen, it will.

What’s lesser known are the many, if not hundreds, of other “Murphy’s Laws” that have surfaced over the years. At some point in my history, I encountered such a list, but it’s too long for just one blog post.

So here is the first of six such lists that I start to share with you today. They’re not in alphabetical order as I don’t have any self imposed need to make that happen.

`-Nature sides with the hidden flaw. `
`-Ralph's Observation:   It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. `
`-Cole's Law:   Thinly sliced cabbage `
`-Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana. `
`-Firestone's Law of Forecasting:   Chicken Little only has to be right once. `
`-Manly's Maxim:   Logic is a systematic method of coming to  the wrong conclusion with confidence. `
`-Moer's truism:   The trouble with most jobs is the job holder's resemblance to being one of a sled dog team. No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.`
`-Cannon's Comment:   If you tell the boss you were late for work because you   had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. `
`-MURPHY'S LAW:   If anything can go wrong, it will. `
`-MURPHY’S CORROLARY #1:   Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.  `
`-MURPHY’S CORROLARY #2: It is impossible to make anything foolproof   because fools are so ingenious.`
`-Murphy's Constant:   Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value `
`-QUANTISIZED REVISION OF MURHPHY’S LAW: Everything goes wrong all at once. `
`-O'TOOLE’S COMMENTARY: Murphy was an optimist. `
`-Scott's Second Law:   When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place. `
`-Finagle's First Law:   If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. `
`-Finagle's Second Law:   No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to:   (a) misinterpret it.   (b) fake it.   or   (c) believe it supports his own pet theory. `
`-Finagle's Third Law:   In any collection of data, the figure most obviously   correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake. `
`-Finagle's Fourth Law:   Once a job is fouled up, anything done to  improve it only makes it worse. `
`-Gumperson's Law:   The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability. `
`-Rudin's Law:   In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible. `
`-Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:   You can't win.   You can't break even.   You can't quit. `
`-Ehrman's Commentary:   Things will get worse before they will get better.   Who said things would get better? `
`-Commoner's Second Law of Ecology:   Nothing ever goes away. `
`-Howe's Law:   Everyone has a scheme that will not work. `
`-Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics:   Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can. `
`-Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations:   Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results. `
`-Klipstein's Law:   Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward   maximum difficulty of assembly. `
`-Interchangeable parts won't. `
`-You never find a lost article until you replace it. `
`-Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness:   The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for. `
`-Lewis' Law:   No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper. `
`-If nobody uses it, there's a reason. `
`-You get the most of what you need the least. `
`-The Airplane Law:   When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. `

… to be continued…